12-22-2023: History O' Fart

Hello world. I’m in a work meeting right now on mute, a meeting with very little information that is relevant to me, so I’m doing this instead.

Christmas shopping: pretty much done. Just need to bake some more cookies to take home. This year I am doing and have been doing two recipes from the New York Times.

Adobo Chocolate Chip Cookies.

Rainbow Rave Cookies.

Both have thus far been well-received by friends and coworkers.

As always, the thing I’m looking most forward to is Christmas just being over. It’s so stupid stressful. We don’t even have kids and I find it terribly stressful. But also we have to travel, and be out of our element, and we have the two dogs, who are also out of their element, and even though these two dogs are pretty well-behaved, they might decide to pee in someone’s house, so that’s stressful. And then there’s buying gifts (for adults who do not need gifts) and worrying that we didn’t spend as much as the other adult people.

There is just something so lovely about the first week of January, when it is all behind us, and we can stop worrying about it until next year, when all the same anxieties will come creeping out of the cracks in our life to haunt us for another holiday season.

Also, I’ve recently noticed that my coffee cup says fart on it, and I love it even more now.

Ho ho ho.

Last Weekend: 12-17 thru 12-19-2023

We had book club Saturday night. Small crowd, only four of us as one person had Covid and one person was too lazy to read the book. The book was Salt Houses by Hala Alyan, and I can’t recommend it enough. Highest all-around scores a book has gotten at book club in a long time. A multi-generational tale of a Palestinian family spanning around 50 years through war and tragedy to battles between mothers and daughters. It’s not the type of book I would typically gravitate towards, but I’ve been a fan of Hala Alyan’s poetry for a long time, and her poet’s voice makes her prose all the more lush. The only criticism I have is that the author is a clinical psychologist as a day job. Writing isn’t even her fulltime gig! She just cranks out beautiful poetry and prose as a hobby. Infuriating.

We watched Family Switch on Netflix the other night. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s a movie on Netflix. It has a few moments, but overall, there are other ways I prefer to waste my time.

We watched May December last night, also on Netflix. If you like Todd Haynes (Far From Heaven, Velvet Goldmine, etc) then I think you’ll love this, too. Very melodramatic, and you get Julianna Moore with a lisp!

Fell off a bit with the health challenge, in that I haven’t had time to hit the gym and people keep putting cookies and donuts in front of me. Hoping to remedy that this evening.

TTFN.

12-15-2023: WIPs and charming Australian slackers

Not a lot to report.

I’ve been working on a short story for a contest, and I keep discovering new things about the plot and the characters, so that’s sort of fun. I always forget how much fun short stories are to write versus novels. They are so self-contained and, usually, need to be very lean, which I really like. I like choosing each word as carefully as possible (not like right now, obvi).

I’ve also bee trudging my way through a new novel. I wrote one last year that I still might do something with, but I need to let it marinate for a while. The one I’m currently working on is pretty straight forward. Sort of an Elmore Leonard-like crime caper/dark comedy. I do have two famous actors as major characters, and so far I’ve just been identifying them by their names, but I might switch it to initials just to be safe.

As far as health is concerned, I got in about 45 minutes of walking yesterday just by pacing around the office during my downtime.

Went grocery shopping. Made some good choices. Didn’t realize how low we were on everything and spent almost $170. To be clear, it’s just me and my wife. We don’t eat out often, so I know that high grocery bill is ultimately saving us money. But still stings every time.

I didn’t watch this yesterday, but I recently subscribed to the PBS Passport app, and I’ve been streaming episodes of Ms Fisher’s Modern Murder Mysteries. It’s an Australian show about Peregrine Fisher, a charming, stylish slacker in the 1960s. She gets word that an aunt she dind’t know she had passed away and left her a house and a car and a small fortune. What she comes to find out is that her aunt was a member of The Adventuresses, and that she was a private detective! And now Peregrine wants to be a private detective, too. There’s a bit of romance with a local detective and every 90 minute episode is a new mystery. Is it great? It’s not. It’s very silly. But it’s colorful and fun, and Geraldine Hakewill is charming AF as the lead.

12-14-2023: Health tracking and drag shows

Nobody reads this, so I’m just going to go back to journaling a bit on here.

At work we’ve been doing a holiday health challenge. Those who participate track all the healthy things they do and points are awarded for each thing, and then at the end whoever has the most points wins 400 extra dollars in their health flex spending account. So I’ve been trying, and I have found it helpful to write down every day all the things I’ve done.

Yesterday I wasn’t able to make it to the gym, but I was able to do two 15 minute walks, so that counted for 2 points.

We get points for reading (mental health) and I’ve been hurrying through Salt Houses by Hala Alyan, so I took 3 points (90 minutes of reading) for that.

I drank an optimal amount of water. 2 points.

And I walked more than 8,000 steps in the day. 3 more points.

Normally I would cook a healthy dinner at home (1 point) but last night we went out to see Hell in a Handbag’s production of The Golden Girls Save Xmas. And it was exactly what I thought a silly drag show would be, which is to say I laughed a fair amount. Jamie has been working their box office a couple nights a week, so we of course had to go see it.

Made an ill-advised stop at McDonald’s afterwards and ate our McNuggets while watching the Masked Singer before bed.

And there you have it.

Also, here’s a picture of Judy Boo this morning.

7-28-21 Mid year update

Hello friends. My current summer class seems to be giving me a bit of breathing room, so I feel the need to update on here. So here we go:

1. School’s going great. I think my library focus is going to be cataloging. There’s just something comforting about knowing every piece of metadata has a specific way of being labelled. Everything in its place, right?

2. Work is work. I’m pretty sick of it, truth be told, but it is what it is for now. I try not to be too disgruntled, but I didn’t come to this company to do massage and be a receptionist, and it doesn’t seem like there are any plans to give me my old job back (managing). So, I’ll just keep biding my time. I’m training for a new profession anyway, right?

3. The dogs are alive and mostly well. They sort of started falling apart after New Years. Both have been diagnosed with collapsed tracheas, and Cookie has the added bonus of having spinal issues, so she doesn’t exactly know what the left side of her body is doing all of the time. But we’ve got both of them on Prednisone, and we bought a bunch of cheap yoga mats and laid them all over the house, which helps Cookie keep her footing since we have hardwood floors. And they both seem happy. They both chase Jamie around from room to room, and still attack food with zeal, so that’s the most we can hope for from a couple of 11 year old dogs, right?

4. Covid and quarantine has definitely rekindled my love of cooking and food, and I’m going to do my best to try new dishes every once in a while. We typically have big salads for dinner four or five nights a week, and as healthy as that is and as happy as I am that we do that, I do miss just making a big meal just to make a big meal. So I’m going to do my best to get back to that. Everything in moderation is okay, right?

5. And speaking of that, Padma Lakshmi posted on her Instagram account that she was hiring for a digital content coordinator, which I am not qualified for in the slightest, but also, she asked for a resume and a cover letter, so… I got to write a letter to Padma Lakshmi! Will she actually read it? Probably not. But maybe. And sometimes maybe is good enough. Right?

6. I think that’s enough of a data dump for now. Hope all my reader is doing well.

7. Bye!

Sushi wants sandwich.

11-30-20: Partyboob and missed deadlines

• Wake up.

• My new work schedule is kind of all over the place, so I walk the dogs in the morning as my wife will have to walk them in the evening. 

• I’m happy to be back at work. Full time employment is a good thing, and my unemployment will run out soon. But it still feels wrong to be out and about, even taking every precaution, and even though I understand the financial ramifications of another shutdown, it just feels wrong. It feels like at some point everyone in charge looked at the numbers and said this is an acceptable number of deaths to keep the economy going. And if any of those deaths were my family or friends, I can’t imagine any amount of stock market gains would make up for that loss. 

• I am not one of the people in charge. So I work.

• I do love the people at work. They have become a second family to me. Zoom meetings aren’t the same as being in the room with someone, and it’s great being able to shoot the shat without worrying about wifi and unmuting.

• Favorite thing I’ve learned from Twitter in the past few days: Boobytrap spelled backwards is Partyboob.

• Three massages at work today. 

• Bought my godchild a square foot of land in Scotland to make her a Lady for her birthday. She’s 8, but I thought she’d get a kick out of it. I think she was mostly confused though.

• At home, leftover orange chicken and salads for dinner. No regrets.

• We’ve started watching Hot Ones on Hulu. Pretty simple concept, interview celebrities as they eat progressively hotter hot wings. Host Sean Evans does a great job navigating the interview with in-depth research and the ability to pivot with the guest’s reactions. 

• And then… realized I forgot to do a project for one of my classes that was due on the 29th. So the next entry will be in a few days when I get that done, as my professor is being very kind to me.

• Later.

11-27-20: The leftovers… and salad

• Wake up. Forgot we brought Cookie up in the bed last night, and her little face was right in front of mine when I opened my eyes. There are definitely worse things to wake up to.

• Cleaned myself up and packed a lunch of leftovers. I suspect several similar lunches in the coming days. There are definitely worse things to have for lunch.

• Got to work early so I could workout with my trainer before my shift started. I was worried because of this week’s back issues, but it didn’t seem to be a problem. Guess I’ll find out tomorrow.

• Had one massage at noon. A very nice person. Not to jinx it, but generally they’re all nice people. There are definitely worse ways to make a living.

• At home we have leftovers and salads for dinner, and we watch Last Christmas for the first time. You know, I just think Paul Feig is not that talented of a director. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen one of his movies and thought it was “good.” Many of his movies seem to have memorable moments, good actors, good characters (I love Emilia Clarke, and she put every bit of personality she had into this one), but none of them seem to cohesively work for me. But I wish him all the best.

• Watched the British Baking Show finale after. No spoilers, but a satisfying conclusion I think. 

• A little bourbon and head off to bed. There are worse ways to end your day.

• Good night.

11-26-20: French onion mac and cheese FTW

• Wake up.

• Make the coffee, walk the dogs.

• Start getting breakfast ready. Cinnamon rolls and bacon. Because Thanksgiving and because gluttony!

• Google Meet with my parents, grandparents, brother, sister-in-law, and nieces. Great to see everyone, but hard to hear them.

• Our dinner this year (just me and the wife, as even during non-COVID times Thanksgiving is just too hard to get home for, being alone with each other has become our custom): French onion mac and cheese (four caramelized onions,white cheddar and gruyere cheese sauce, toasted garlic slices on top), and crispy brussel sprouts with balsamic and honey. As someone who is often intolerant to lactose, this may lead to many farts.

• Watched Happiest Season on Hulu with dinner expecting to mock it the entire time. And it wasn’t great, but honestly, the trailer doesn’t do it justice. There are some genuinely funny moments (thanks Dan Levy and Mary Holland), and Kristin Stewart has better comic timing than I would have given her credit for. If you have Hulu, I says watch it.

• My wife found a recipe for single-serving pumpkin pies, and we threw those together a little later. And they were okay. I think when you get your recipe from Bustle you’re taking a risk, but she was pretty gung ho about it, and I definitely ate all of mine.

• Passed out on the couch, bellies delightfully distended.

• Went to bed, and before passing out there I reflected on all of the extremes of emotion that have happened in our bed. From the obvious fun moments, to my dog dying in our arms, to calling my parents to tell them I had a touch of the cancer, to last night, when I had videoed my wife snoring on the couch, and she was both so offended and yet so entertained that we both laughed until we cried. 

• Happy Thanksgiving.

• Good night.

11-25-20: Back pain and polar bear dreams

1. Wake up.

2. Find that my back pain has not gotten better overnight, but is now making movement a little difficult. Advil right away. I’ve been here before, I know I just have to keep walking, gentle stretching, and applying heat, and it’ll all release in another day or so. It’s kind of a bummer though, because I usually do an online workout tonight with my trainer, Alex, and I’m pretty sure I’ll have to skip that.

3. Coffee.

4. I walk the dogs separately today. I’ve been experimenting a little with this when I have time. Sushi has all the energy in the world, and she seems like such a better walker when on her own. Cookie we’re still trying to figure out. She seems like she has a bad hip or knee, but then she sprints around the condo at the first glimpse of food. 

5. On the couch with a heat pack, Icy Hot and a lacrosse ball for a bit.

6. Another bath, this time while watching yesterday’s Billy Collins on my phone.

7. Lots of loafing and stretching, waiting for the cracks and pops that will signal a release in my spine.

8. A dream I just remembered having last night: I parked my can in an icy parking lot and walked to the other side to participate in an improv group rehearsal. Side note: I do not do improv. During rehearsal I saw something white by my car and I walked into the dark parking lot to see what it was, and a woman from the group (it may have been Gillian Jacobs) grabbed my arm and whispered “polar bears!” And then there were four of them just trashing the cars, and we casually power walked back to the group and went inside a giant house. Where we were terrorized by a monkey. I finally caught him, and as I choked him, he squeaked “I see this isn’t your first time strangling someone.” Which made the surviving members of my improv group look at me real funny. And that’s where I woke up… Upon reflection in this moment I’m realizing this is very Golden Compass-y, which I don’t recall thinking about before bed, but here we are.

9. Baked off some thawed turkey burgers that had been taking up too much room in the freezer. I figured a turkey meat patty is as good a snack as any, and it’s brand appropriate for the weekend.

10. Salads with popcorn shrimp for dinner.

11. TV, melatonin and bed.

12. Good night, and happy Super Spreader Day tomorrow!

11-24-20: Leftover Chili, Maverick, Falcor and a Talk Radio Reunion

1. Wake up.

2. Coffee.

3. Get to the grocery stores (Aldi and Jewel) right after they opened. And let me tell you, these old people are on to something. If you want to avoid the crowds and get there before everything is gone, go early. 

4. Came home, unloaded, and used leftovers to make chili to make space in the fridge. Ingredients include but are not limited to:

   1. ½ cup of rice and lentils

   2. ⅓ cup of chickpeas

   3. ⅔ a can of crushed tomatoes (whatever the larger cans are)

   4. ½ cup of tomato basil soup

   5. 1 cup ground taco meat

   6. 1 cup refried black beans

   7. 1 cup (maybe more) shiro

   8. ½ cup frozen corn

   9. ⅔ of 20oz of Miller High Life (reserve ⅓ for lite day drinking buzz)

   10. ¼ cup ground cornmeal for thickening

5. Spice it however you like. I used about two tablespoons of chili powder, some oregano, some garlic powder, and I tasted and salted as I went along as most things were already seasoned.

6. Little later, a quick dumbbell workout. No squats.

7. Long bath with epsom salt. 

8. Movie trivia online tonight. My buddy Dennis has been playing with me from Michigan for the past few months, and it’s been great getting to virtually hang out with him (so a sincere thanks COVID this time). Our friend Karen joined us this time. Karen and I were in Talk Radio together in college, and our friend Julie (married to Dennis) produced it. And there was a Talk Radio question! And we got it wrong. For shame.

9. My wife hosts the first two rounds, and she did a music round about Giorgio Moroder, and it was a really hard round. But check out the promo she put together for it. If that’s not a t-shirt I don’t want to wear t-shirts.

10. A little TV to wind down after, and then bed.

11. Good night.

Somebody put this on a t-shirt for me NOW!

11-23-20: Aggressive Squatting and Voting Hesitation

1. Wake up. Before 7am today, so that’s something.

2. Coffee, news, and at-home workout before work. 

3. Since nobody asked, here’s what I worked out today (using my adjustable dumbbell):

   1. A few walkouts to warm up

   2. Bent over single arm rows

   3. Goblet squats

   4. Standing biceps curl

   5. Standing skull crushers 

   6. Overhead shoulder press

   7. Hammer curls

   8. Maybe one more thing I don’t remember 

4. Work is unsurprisingly slow AF. One massage in the morning (for another massage therapist), and then a long day of pretending I’m not playing with my phone. I already have very mixed feelings about even being here. Until all the COVID’s gone I’d truthfully rather not be. But my unemployment is going to run out soon, and that darned mortgage will need to get paid somehow. 

5. Back home. Pet the dogs. Start planning an early morning trip to the grocery store (beat the rush, week before Super Spreader Thursday).

6. SI joint feeling flared. May have squatted too aggressively this morning. Usually just takes a day and a few ibuprofen for it to calm down again. 

7. While watching the finale of Dancing With The Stars I caught myself wanting to vote for my favorite celebrity. And I then had to question what choices I had made up to this point that had given me this sudden strange compulsion. Quarantine makes for odd bedfellows I guess, TV watching-wise. I like watching dancing, but this show has always struck me as a tad too… for moms, I guess? So as my hand reached for my phone I realized I was going to have to make some changes. And look, I think everyone, often, comes to certain points where they have to say to themselves, buddy, it’s time to step up your game, because what you’re doing is killing your brain. And I’m not saying guilty pleasures are a bad thing, but you have to realize it’s a guilty pleasure and you have to take steps to expand your mind instead of numbing it.

8. Proceeded to feel immense guilt when they declared the winner. My vote could have mattered!

9. Advil PM, and bed.

10. Good night.

11-22-20: Candle Budget

1. Wake up.

2. Coffee. 

3. Slept hard last night. Didn’t take the melatonin. I did take two and a half old fashioneds, and I’m worried this will only encourage my casual drinking, which, if I’m being honest, I’d like to rein in a bit.

4. Wife rented The Craft. Strange choice for 10am, but I went with it. A question I’ve always had for moody movies like this: Who lights all these candles? What is their monthly candle budget of the characters? Shouldn't they blow them out before leaving the room?

5. Lazy Sunday. So crocs and socks indoors are cool, right?

6. Rented The Craft: Legacy next. You know, to stay on brand. And. Um. Look. It had a lot going for it. The kids were all great. There was Duchovny. And I’ve definitely always loved Zoe Lister-Jones in anything I’ve ever seen her in (she wrote and directed this). But unfortunately it did not come together. At all. In fact the third act felt like an entirely different movie, and neither of the movies ever really came to fruition. Maybe wait for it to inevitably be of Freeform within a year if you’re curious.

7. Made Shiro, an Ethiopian soup with a chickpea base. Went with a pretty basic version of the recipe to start. Might make some tweaks in the future, but pretty satisfying.

8. Basically spent the rest of the day watching The Pack on Prime. If you’re a dog person who loves reality show competitions, this show is for you. The perfect silly Sunday show.

9. Very inexpensive Cabernet Sauvignon from Aldi to sip with dinner (and after).

10. And bed.

11. Good night.

11-21-20: Laundry Love Language

1. Wake up, a little groggy from the melatonin I think. And I think I slept well. I know I peed a lot but that’s probably just being 43 and not so much insomnia.

2. Coffee.

3. Decide today’s the day I use numbers as my bullet points.

4. I fold the laundry that my wife washed yesterday. She looked busy when I got home from work last night, so I offered to fold it if she’d let me do it today. These are not fancy clothes where wrinkles would make a difference. These are mostly quarantine/workout clothes. An odd crease here or there will disappoint no one. When I fold the laundry I’m sure to turn all the clothes outside out, my wife does not do this in turn. It is a piece of my love language - a popular turn of phrase - to make sure she can pull a shirt out of her drawer and wear it immediately without checking what side the tag is on. She loves me in other ways. So in the morning, as I’m preparing for work, and she’s still sleeping, so I can’t turn the bedroom light on, and I’m holding a sock an inch from my face to see where the seam is, I’m not angry, and I do not feel slighted, because sometimes she laughs at my dumb jokes.

5. Tacos and elotes for dinner. Ground beef and cheddar in corn tortillas folded and fried in vegetable oil. Topped with guacamole and tomatoes (sorry, no pics).

6. Mixed feelings about these numbers.

7. A bit of reading for class that I absorbed very little of.

8. Bourbon, TV and bed.

9. Good night.